![]() I never uttered a word about what was happening to anyone but my studies suffered and my personal relationships were affected, as well as my own sexual development. My brain tried to block out the painful memories, physically and emotionally, to protect me. When I was 14 he forced me to give him oral sex and when he raped me for the first time I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but it was horrific. ![]() Things escalated and, as I grew older, his actions – what I know now was abuse – became more adult. I believed he was my friend and I trusted what he told me. An adult man showing me, a child with no sexual experience, his penis was unusual. Although the images were tame by modern standards, I felt shocked and embarrassed while he leered over them.įeeling uneasy, I stayed silent and then one day he said, ‘Looking at these gives you a hard on,’ and started masturbating in front of me.Īlarmed and scared, I froze, unsure what to do. He was testing boundaries, but I was just an innocent kid.Ībout a year later, Frank showed me a pornographic magazine featuring older women. He began play-fighting and tickling me, and I remember he’d painfully jab my ribs. While I viewed Frank as a friend back then, he was in his 50s and I was not yet a teenager.
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